If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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