Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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