I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
