I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
