Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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