It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I love you. Go after that dick
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
