i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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