Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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