no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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