thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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