that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
