whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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