were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
