Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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