the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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