are you still at the devil's house?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
