he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
