I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
