I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
