Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
