R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
