YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
