sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
