Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I would fuck him just for his dog
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
