Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
