a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
