If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My ass is underappreciated
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
