So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
