he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize