then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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