Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
