i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
