Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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