Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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