Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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