is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize