I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I will pee on everything he values.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
