Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He better not be in your backpack
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
