I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
