areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize