just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
