Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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