he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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