you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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