It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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