I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
