We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
