you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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