cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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