dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
