Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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