You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
