i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Kiss
Puke
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
