So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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