1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
