Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
