I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize