question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
