btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
