"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i love accidental penises.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
