We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize